Went to a restaurant. Ordered eggplant parm. It was undercooked. DISSATISFIED CUSTOMER!

Complained to the manager. Got my money back. THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!

I lied the eggplant parm was fine. SNEAKY NINJA!

Hit an old lady with my car and kept on driving. I have three priors. AVOIDING JAILTIME!

Yesterday was my son Timmy's science fair. I spent two weeks making a papier mache volcano with him, complete with model dinosaurs. GOOD PARENTING!

Used the blood of my enemies to create a very nice balsamic base marinade...which I then spiked with poison to kill more enemies. EFFICIENT!

Killed fifteen men with one sword today. EFFICIENT!